So back in June I mentioned some obscure song that pops into my head occasionally out of context, and Amanda was kind enough to leave a comment identifying it. It was part of a small songbook called ‘Piper’s Mountain’ – a Music Workshop for Primary Schools issued by BBC Radio for Schools in 1986.
Thanks to the wonders of Amazon Marketplace I found a copy for the princely sum of £3, and couldn’t resist getting it to jog my memory. As well as music it contains a comic-strip based story about a trio of adventurers visiting the moutain where the Pied Pier of Hamelin led a bunch of children. Now there was an odd mixture of royalty and a witch living there – all of whom enjoy youth beyond their years.
The secret to this is their lack of greed and coveting of things. A couple of the adventurers though attempt to throw a spanner in those particular works – because they have decided to try to sell stuff to them… which is where the Giant Ginormous Cataloge comes into being… which is one of the numerous songs in the book…
… the only other one I remembered was one entitled “You Can’t Have Everything”, a song based on the premise that you couldn’t have everything because you wouldn’t have anywhere to keep it. I do recall this leading to some quite heated debate on the playground – because if everything automatically included the concept of everywhere as well (which I seem to remember thinking it did), then it was perfectly feasible to have everything, as you would have everywhere in which to keep it!
So, for the sake of posterity, here are the words to the song I remembered at least… I bring you, The Giant Ginormous Catalogue…
The Huge Ginormous Catalogue has everything for your home
From a range of bedroom carpets to a plastic garden gnome
If you want a conversation piece to knock the neighbours dead
How about our grand piano that converts into a bed?
It’s easy as falling off a log
When you order from the Giant Ginormous Catalogue
The order from the Giant, the Huge Ginormous Giant,
You order from the Giant, Ginormous Catalogue. Hi!
The Huge Ginormous Catalogue has everything for your pet
You can get a special discount if you order through your vet
We’ve got paddling pools for polar bears and tea for chimpanzees
And we do a special circus kit for pet performing fleas
The Huge Ginormous Catalogue has everything made for sport
We will even paint the markings on your garden tennis court
And if coming last on sports day is the most you’ve ever done
We do silver-plated trophies to pretend that you have won!
The Huge Ginormous Catalogue has everything for your life
Simply call up our computer for a husband or a wife
We could sell you Tower Bridge, ‘cos we’ve got everything in store
We’ll make any crazy promise just to keep you buying more!
So there you have it. For those of you of a certain disposition the sheet music can be provided!! Now I just need to track down the random thing we did about a music competition along a similar lines and my underwhelming rediscovery of what passed as musical teachings at Primary School will be nearing completion.. all together everyone.. “The Black-bird sings… A tune-ful song.. with turns and trills so fine..”
In other news I took delivery of a DVD and CD recording of the Levellers performing on their Levelling the Land tour back in March, which has my name printed in it. I’m quite happy about this and am in the midst of ripping it to pop on the iPad!