Sweet dreams (aren’t made of this)..

I quite often have quite vivid dreams, then by the time I’ve finished hitting the snooze option on my alarm they’ve dissolved to fairly disparate images or moods, by the time I’m brushing my teeth I might have a vague impression of having had a dream.  By the time I’m in a car and into the commuter-trance-state I’ve probably forgotten pretty much everything about it.

So it’s odd this week that a couple of nights on the bounce I’ve had two very vivid dreams which were both not particularly nice, and both have remained in the conscious part of my brain rather than dissipating into nothingness as my daily doings gradually fill my waking thoughts, pushing away any transgression my subconscious night-ponderings that might have crossed over into my conscious brain.

The first felt like a fairly long episode as the time-bending properties of dreams can – it was fairly mundane, me, going about daily life mostly around home with loved ones and family – but I’d learned that I’d been diagnosed with cancer.  Not a specific type, and it was clearly quite early – at that juncture my outlook was quite positive to those around me – whilst feeling somewhat hopeless myself.

Frustratingly I awoke at that stage, so never found out in this mystical subconscious alternative reality whether there was a treatment programme, whether it was successful or not, or any other of the myriad of details you’d want to know if that situation were to happen for real.

So having found it unusual that a dream should stick in my head so readily, it was all the more surprising to have another the following night that similarly remained in my conscious mind quite persistently.  This time I was taken back in time to the late nineties and the turn of the millennium when I was working at Colours Sports Club & Bar in Nottingham (no longer there now, it’s now Bistro Live).

Colours was never a busy place, but it was a good vibe working there – we would stay after hours to paint and decorate and socialise together a lot, I really fondly remember my time there.  On this occasion I was behind the bar on my own when some dodgy characters came in and nonchalantly opened the till and started taking money, quite a lot of money – deliberately, casually.

When I challenged them on this there was a fair degree of threat to my wellbeing, and the dodgy times were subsequently backed up by the person who was supervising the bar at the time (neither the gangster types nor the supervisor were actual people I know, oddly).  I remained openly angry at this and subject to gangster-based hostility, but not direct threat or harm before again, I awoke never find out if I got attacked outside at the end of my shift!

At times Colours was host to many dodgy characters, but never quite to that extent!  I’m not at all sure why my subconscious would be kicking around exaggerated versions of the now fairly distant past in that way.  I think the most discomfort was certain clientelle’s insistence on ‘Happy Hour’ priced drinks (or not paying at all on a couple of occasions).  As I said above, those rare instances aside working at Colours was a fun time.

Whilst I have no real belief in dream interpretations I decided to have a quick search anyway, supposedly to dream you have cancer denotes – unsurprisingly – hopelessness, grief, self-pity and unforgiveness – or possibly an area of life that is hurtful, disturbing or bothersome in an emotional sense.   Hmph! Had I reached treatment stage it might be interpreted as a sign of positive changes in life – which figures!  Maybe I’ll have that dream later!

It was hard to think what to search for for the second dream – I plumped for threaten as whilst I was uncomfortable in the extreme in the situation I was placed, I never came to actual harm – there was only the implication of it.  To dream of being threatened is supposedly a sign of internalising a fear, and that you’re feeling inadequate or oppressed.  So that’s fun, too!

As a self-indulgence I had thought of keeping a notepad to hand to jot down details of dreams whilst they’re still intact as I awaken – but I never really got around to it.  Whether they have any deeper meaning or it’s just subsconscious detritus being kicked around your brain while your conscious mind is having down-time, well who knows?  Interesting though, regardless!

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